So I've been watching a series by Michael Todd called Damaged Goods and it's really blessing me. Ever since I had my miscarriage 13 years ago and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I've walked around with a damaged goods mentality. I thought to myself, who would want me, I'm too much work, I cant be trusted because of how I become when I'm manic. But lately God has been restoring me and helping me to see that what the enemy meant to use to destroy me or cause me to feel useless, God is able to turn around and use for His good.
So this series talks about something that really touches me heart. He reminds me that in Jeremiah 29:11 it says that God has a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. I used to think my future couldn't be any good. I had a manic episode while my young daughter was with me and I put her in danger. I lost custody of her and for years we've been separated. It's only been in the last few years that I've gotten to see her twice a week, but never without her dad's supervision. That's hard. It makes me feel even more damaged. But, I'm choosing to remember that God is for me, that we all have some area of damaged goods and God chooses us despite that. He sees us and He says yes, I want her.
Maybe today you're feeling insecure and damaged, but I hope you will be encouraged as I am to see that God is for you, He comes looking for you and He chooses you. He has a great plan for your life! You have great things to look forward to because God is in the picture. And even when things dont look so good and trouble is all around you, you can stand to your feet and raise your head and praise God because He's with you, he's never left you. He just wants you to trust him in the midst of the chaos and watch him calm the storms in your life. He will do it. Do you believe it?
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Thursday, July 6, 2017
Saying goodbye to drinking
As I write this post I am drinking my very last beer. I am choosing to say goodbye to drinking because I have finally decided that it's not serving me all that well. I drink to take the edge off of life. I admit that life is often overwhelming to me. I am a very sensitive person and that has it's good points and it's challenging ones. I've found that being sensitive opens me up to some vulnerabilities. I am also a very open person. I hate to feel like I'm hiding something from the people that I love. I also love this blog because it gives me the opportunity to share my heart in a way that can help others who are on their own journey to overcoming their struggles.
My last beer is finished and I feel like I'm being given a great resolve to do this and to succeed at it. As I mentioned I would drink to take the edge off. I am experiencing a difficult moment in my life. I don't live with my daughter; she lives with her dad and her grandpa and that is difficult for me. I, like my daughter, want to see her every day. I need to be with her, just as she needs to be with me. When I spend time with her and her dad, I often have the desire to drink because it's hard, but I realize that if I continue to do that I'm teaching my daughter that when things are difficult I must drink. I don't want her to learn that from me. She is my inspiration to living a better life, because I want to teach her many things and the best way to do that is to be the example for her. So, today I'm saying goodbye to drinking and it feels good and empowering.
My last beer is finished and I feel like I'm being given a great resolve to do this and to succeed at it. As I mentioned I would drink to take the edge off. I am experiencing a difficult moment in my life. I don't live with my daughter; she lives with her dad and her grandpa and that is difficult for me. I, like my daughter, want to see her every day. I need to be with her, just as she needs to be with me. When I spend time with her and her dad, I often have the desire to drink because it's hard, but I realize that if I continue to do that I'm teaching my daughter that when things are difficult I must drink. I don't want her to learn that from me. She is my inspiration to living a better life, because I want to teach her many things and the best way to do that is to be the example for her. So, today I'm saying goodbye to drinking and it feels good and empowering.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Journey to Worship!
On this Friday I have come to discover that I am on a journey to worship. I have been on this journey before, at critical times in my life, and walking in that worship has done many things for me...it's healed me, strengthened me, given me hope and visions of Jesus. This journey that I'm on has grabbed me again today and I am so grateful. This time it's saving me from myself, from loneliness, and from illness. This journey to worship is changing my perspective of not just my life, but the lives of mankind and why we're here. This journey to worship is waking me up to the reality that it's all about Him...Jesus and sharing the truth of His love and salvation with everyone you can.
So that is my new priority...to be open to the opportunities to share Jesus and to shine with His love so that people are drawn to see Him through me. This journey to worship has opened that door for me and I am grateful. So even though I have Bipolar Disorder, that doesn't have to stop me. All that is is a bridge that I've been given to reach people in the mental health community and to share the love of Jesus in that arena. I have a purpose and it's a great one. I believe in Jesus and in the power of worshipping Him. This is my journey and I'm grateful for it.
So that is my new priority...to be open to the opportunities to share Jesus and to shine with His love so that people are drawn to see Him through me. This journey to worship has opened that door for me and I am grateful. So even though I have Bipolar Disorder, that doesn't have to stop me. All that is is a bridge that I've been given to reach people in the mental health community and to share the love of Jesus in that arena. I have a purpose and it's a great one. I believe in Jesus and in the power of worshipping Him. This is my journey and I'm grateful for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)